Saturday, January 19, 2008

I Am Not Well-balanced

So...physical gotten, fitness evaluated. I'm alive, 59 years old and, due to sitting in front of a computer all day at work, overweight (Yeah, like I didn't know that!), my cholesterol and blood sugar are way too high, and my balance is wonky.

I found myself telling Chris, my fitness trainer (Oh, that does sound impressive, doesn't it?)that I used to be a dancer, like somehow that was going to make my balance return in a *blink* and she'd be so impressed. Good grief! I got home and realized that the last dancing lessons I took were 32 years ago, before I got pregnant with the Critter!

Not that there hasn't been physical activity in the interim. I walked, chased children, worked out at a friend's physical fitness shop with the accurate name Body by You, and I took the occasional Yoga class. But, for the most part, I've been sedentary due to my work choices for the last 15+ years. It takes its toll.

And then there's the fact that I'm post menopause. Ugh. I will not go into the disgusting details of how that effects one's body. But I will mention one observation.

That balance thing. I actually realized I was through the bloody (no pun intended) transition for the first time, because I noticed that my center of gravity had changed. Where the heck was it now? I felt like I'd lost my anchor and was floating six inches off the floor and grasping for the walls. I've been looking for that anchor ever since. Hence, the wonky balance.

Very disconcerting for a stick-in-the-mud Capricorn like me. I have to make sense of things. Be grounded.

I traveled through menopause during the most chaotic period of my life. I was totally and completely uprooted, my life turned upside down and sideways. Very synchronous, I'd say.

But I've set down a few roots again...tentatively and very skeptically...shakily. It's new ground for me, just like being on the other side of this menopause thing. I'm looking for that balance, but it just isn't the same, ya know?

But why should I expect it to be?

I feel like a pioneer looking for that "perfect" piece of land.


Michelle said...

As someone enterring enduced menopause at 444 this is not encouraging! :-(

Nooo! FORTYFOUR, not 444. I'm not Methuselah's grandmother... yet.


bnavta said...

Yikes! Numbers gone haywire again! LOL Seems to be happening all over the place!

Awww...don't be totally discouraged! There are benefits, ya know. You get to embrace the Solar Crone and say just whatcha think and get away with it, too! :o)

And rediscovering the balance you once took for granted is not such a bad thing, either. It makes you more intentional about balance in everything....conscious of it. Not so bad, actually.

It's the transition part with all the chaos skirmishing around you that sucks. If you can find the balance within and let the rest go hang, you'll do just fine. ((((hugs)))

Michelle said...

Thanks Betty. That helped. :-)